The Third Agreement: “Don’t Make Assumptions”—Core Meaning and Application

The third agreement in Don Miguel Ruiz’s system, “Don’t Make Assumptions,” emphasizes the importance of resisting the human tendency to fill gaps in understanding with unverified beliefs about others or oneself. Assumptions arise from personal fears and biases, leading to communication breakdowns and unnecessary emotional suffering. For instance, interpreting an unreturned message as rejection can cause friction in relationships. This agreement promotes curiosity and clarity by advocating for direct communication and verification of thoughts. It is interconnected with the first agreement, “Be Impeccable with Your Word”; unreliable communication fuels assumptions, while clear and honest dialogue diminishes them. The negative effects of assumptions also extend to the second agreement, where they lead to personal offense and defensiveness, hindering emotional freedom. Additionally, assumptions drain energy and focus, undermining one’s ability to “Always Do Your Best.” Lastly, they obstruct critical thinking and open-mindedness, impacting the fifth agreement by blocking genuine listening. Collectively, the habit of making assumptions narrows perspectives, creating individual strife and diminishing the potential for a shared vision and understanding within relationships and communities.