Chapter 2 - John

An Egyptian doctor told me the best way to subjugate someone was to create his doppelganger, who is entirely under your control. 'Do whatever you want with that double,' the Egyptian explained, 'that irrevocably radiates to the real man.' I was thirty, bright, healthy, and I knew what I was doing. God decided to put me to the test: a man appeared who wanted to become me, to take my place, and the rumor about it spread far beyond the borders of the Jordan Valley. He spoke of eternal joy, freedom of choice, and the bright and righteous kingdom of the future... But unlike many other chattering messiahs in the Messiah's skin, he possessed remarkable strength of mind.

According to the rumors, even our mothers were of the same age. But he had thought of something new. He allowed anyone who wanted to enter eternal life to use water. His name was John.

That was wise because water equals life for many farmers on the edge of the desert. And the people believed John.

At that time, I was far from my parents and Nazareth. I traveled through the Jewish lands from Caesarea of Philippus to the cities of Edom, seeking the knowledge and refined mastery of the prophet. I also visited neighboring empires, such as Egypt and Libya. I was in Arabia, sailed on a Roman ship to Kirinea, and came as far as Galatia on the shores of the North Sea. I did not get to Hellas, but I dreamed of visiting Athens and its academy at the first opportunity. Also, Cissia, where the famous mage community of Evlai resided and where there was a well containing a mixture of water, oil, and resin, and when you poured out the scooped-up grub from it, the liquids formed separate streams, and at that time, by looking at it, you could predict the whole future. I learned languages and morals and read a lot. What a treat it was to be allowed to stay in the library of Alexandria! Or to bribe the attendant and gain access to the scrolls in the Temple of Jerusalem book depository! For weeks, I sat there among the cagey old men who, for a few copper coins, could find any information or trace your family tree back to Saul, if necessary, to the eunuch Abagde. I had even managed to get as far as the personal library of the prefect of

Judea, in which these had gathered quite a few texts from Roman poets and Greek scholarship.

To do a lot of reading, I worked for a while in the library of Alexandria for a small salary. At the time, Dionysos of Kilika was his patron. When he had checked my knowledge, he had me correct the Greek translation of the Torah that Jewish clerics had hastily cobbled together at the request of Demetrius of Phalerum. They had spent a few months on the island of Pharos, feasting at the expense of King Ptolomaeus, whom they could enchant with their sweet words and working between libations,. Still, nonetheless, their translation had turned out grubby. Moreover, it was missing some fragments: powerful curses, erotic details, and descriptions of some refined corporal punishments. Of course, I was not able to fix all that. Sitting in the calm silence of the library rooms, among the stone chests of scrolls, I introduced into the translation only a little of the poetry that my ancestors would have known what to do with. With special care, I corrected David's psalms.

Back in Egypt, it was drudgery. With casual earnings, I often had to borrow money without the ability to return it, and I lived wherever it was convenient. I ate too little. Sometimes, a handful of dried figs or a hard and old flatbread I had received as a gift was all I had in my knapsack.

I worked as a house teacher in rich families, teaching their children to read and write, and sometimes, I was the house father himself. One person paid me handsomely because I taught his favorite concubine to read and write. I had to confess that I didn't just do grammar with her.

For a time, I did not know how to address a crowd very well, and this caused me much mischief. It did happen that with a fiery speech, I had gathered people around me, somewhere in Gilead or in a poor spot on the shore of Lake Hesbon, promised to restore their eyesight, and then suddenly, in the middle of a sentence, I shut my mouth in a kind of despair as if blinded by the suspicion: everything is useless. Then I'd be laughed at, beaten up. Often, I went into battle myself to defy fate and test the hardness of my hand. Then, I was put in jail, but not for long. They tried to convict me for petty theft and the seduction of other people's wives. Still, I always managed to turn myself out miraculously to find incredible evidence for my rightness and get away from such a city.

Women were always attracted to me, and I thank fate that I have known the best of him, the shrewd and sensitive, without whose care I would long since have perished of hunger, succumbed to too hard work in the fields, or joined the ranks of the vagabonds whose white bones lay along the roads in the desert.

One day, I walked to Jericho and stopped at the top of a hill, a few steps from this ancient city. I was alone; a stone path led down into a green valley stretching a vast olive grove. I looked at the silvery treetops leading into the distance for a long time. Suddenly, they appeared to me like a sea of molten metal, like the Lake of Halkolivan, in which all human knowledge had dissolved, including the words of all the world's languages. I understand that this primordial mass of fire awaited me, that I had to become its Demiurge. And at that moment, I learned to see the living letters of the Hebrew alphabet! Alef, Chet, Shien ... they consisted of fire and wind, of honey and wine, of filthy truth and falsehood, and with their help, you could do whatever you wanted because they were at the base of the universe.

The vision did not last long, but I was changed then. I understood that the waters of this red-hot sea would indeed have to part for me. At that moment, a wind rose, and the trees began to rustle as if to warn me, "Quiet, this is beyond your strength; calm down," but I raised my arms to heaven and cried out in rapture because I had seen the rock from which we were hewn, had glimpsed into the depths of the quarry from which we emerged in the face of Abraham and had seen Sarah.

Olive trees grow very old, and when a person suddenly learns to understand them, my cry of joy rings out to them.

I was living here and there, but my half-disturbed mother somehow found out where I was and, occasionally, sent letters to me through random people who had to go my way. I didn't reply. She was still resentful about something and offended, and she wanted me to learn to live according to the old ordinances and live a sedentary life.

I found out that my stepfather Joseph had died.

A few more months passed, during which I went significantly green as an orator; I even gained my first followers, who did not stay with me for long then. However, I was no longer alone. Men and women, youngsters and very young girls flocked to me. They hit it off with me because I truly loved them, could comfort them, and found words they had never heard before, even from the most intimate of loved ones.

I wanted to live as I lived, to get closer to the truth, and not root in the earth, like a form, not build a shelter for myself, like a wild animal. I wanted to be free from everyone. I wanted to be myself.

But as I said, God sent me the victim of a double.

People began to speak of him in Galilee, Samaria, and the land across the Jordan. He lived in the desert. It was claimed that he fed on only locusts and wild honey, could not read, and had such a sharp mind that he could read people's minds.

He claimed to be the prophets' heir, lived according to the law of Moses, and even came to Jerusalem and mocked the venerable men of the Sanhedrin, whom he called the viper's spawn of the poisonous snake.

That all made sense, but... I was the one to unmask him! But I lacked the guts for that at the time, I am ashamed to say. No, not the courage, but the ingenuity... The Sanhedrin, of course, was highly indignant at his statements.

Yes, he looked like me.

I spent the whole night trying to see him as soon as possible. I was alone. Friends and helpers wanted to come along, but I decided to put myself to the test—one-on-one with John.

At dawn, after a long road, my right sandal tore off. I took off both sandals and threw them into the bushes.

Early in the morning, I arrived at the Jordan River. I was alone, barefoot, tired, and starving. All along the bank, among the bushes, in the shade of palms and cypress trees, people were lying and sitting, many of them still sleeping; there were tents covered with canvas, with walls of woven branches; there were horses tied to trees and camels, campfires were burning, food was being cooked, and a mist hung over the waters of the Jordan. There were hundreds of people. The ordinary people, soldiers, vagabonds, book people, officials, and Essenes were all tired of settled life. Children were running around. All around stretched a lifeless valley; you could not find anything to eat anywhere, and the people did not last long there. John performed his ritual with them, and they returned to Galilee, Samaria, and the other side of the Jordan...

I watched a woman pluck a pigeon caught in a trap by the nearest fire and prepare to cook soup.

At the waterfront, a group of people waited their turn to approach John, standing in the river, in a shallow place, up to his belt in the water.

He was hairy and dark.

As someone that John had approached, the latter immersed the convert in the water, laughing and mumbling unintelligible words.

Paying no attention to the people waiting for their turn to undergo the ritual (a few began to grumble and point at me), I threw off my clothes. I walked into the river wearing only a loincloth. John had just finished yet another ritual; an old woman scrabbled up against the bank crying with happiness, shamefully covering with her hands her breasts that pranced in her wet clothes.

With his head raised to heaven, John called out something in a language he probably only understood himself and then saw me. His eyes resembled those of a butcher fed up with his work. He looked fearsome: dark brown from the sun, with half-dead fur on his shoulders, hairy like a lion (but the lion from the lineage of Judah, that was me). And he did not doubt the veracity of what he was doing for a moment. Yes, he believed in what he was doing much more than I did. I longed for life as easy as extravagant, for love, for boundless freedom. At the same time, he did not think of rest or care for his body, driven as he was by an impetuous power, by a blind thirst to stir the air incessantly with cries about the salutary power of river water and the necessity of general humility.

As soon as we looked at each other, everything was decided. We didn't have to argue or prove anything to each other. He understood at once that he had to submit to me, even though I was alone, while on the shore, a whole crowd had gathered, enchanted by him.

This is how it can go when wild animals encounter each other or gladiators. Not for nothing is it called that one can lose a duel beforehand.

John, this strong man, as if sent down from above, fed the fire of my game, of my play! And this was also lawful. People to whom I had introduced that game either immediately conceived a hatred for me or became part of the mystery. Fortunately, I turned out to have John in my power; otherwise, I don't know how this encounter ended. John's followers could have foolishly killed me to defend their teacher.

They were ready for anything. But John humbled himself. In other words, the predatory letter had swallowed another, smaller one. The victory was mine.

"Of him, the prophets spoke of him!" cried John hoarsely, pointing at me.

A legion of faces turned to us.

'Behold the man incomparably superior to me,' John continued.

'My name is Jesus!" cried the people. 'John saves you with water, but I with the spirit! Even if all the world's water will be poisoned by human suffering, the spirit will remain intact!'

"Yes, yes! Voices sounded from the bank.

I heard their voices, I saw their jubilant faces...

Who were these people? The same ones surrounded me as I traveled from town to town: women with empty eyes, meek youngsters willing to do anything but labor, and men of the age, under different circumstances, willing to waste their last seconds on hetaera.

I returned to shore while John continued his work in the water. But those around me now regarded me with different eyes, with unconcealed awe. I was given something to eat and wine to drink; I settled down in the shade of a cypress tree on a straw mat that someone caringly spread out under me. A woman came and sat beside me, looked at me in adoration, and ran her hand through my hair. I thought her young body was worthy of me in every way and told her to visit me that night...

People came to me and touched me, repeating John's words, "Of him the prophets said, of him!

John had done the right thing. He did not become just another preacher I had eliminated but a part of my teaching.

After he met with me, John continued to water people to share eternal life in Enona, near Salim. I do not believe that he gave the people the eternity that is given to everyone from birth. They just liked it, those people and him. But at each of his water rituals, he now told of me. That, of course, made me more familiar and stronger.